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What is psychological dependence, and how to get rid of it?

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Psychological dependence on another person can be removed through practice with the replacement of qualities and circumcision of bonds. And unlike burning energy bindings, this practice can be done independently. In this article, we will examine why psychological dependence appears and how to remove it.

To get in psychological dependence on a person almost everyone can, even people with a strong character. Oddly enough, but strong-willed people have weaknesses. It is weaknesses that are the point of attachment, which is subsequently expressed by dependence on someone. This is a condition in which a person has an obsessive desire to be with someone in order to feel comfortable. Sometimes the psychological dependence on another person is so significant that in his absence it is scary to do something (such as in children to their parents), or, even worse, sunlight “fades”, and the taste of life is lost (as in an unfortunate lover) )

Reasons for the appearancepsychological dependencefrom another person

Psychological dependence arises due to a lack of personal energy in certain chakras that correspond to one or another manifestation of a person’s character traits. In other words, if your character has a weak point (for example, sociability), then it can become a cause for dependence on the person in whom this quality is developed quite strongly. In this case, of course, it is worth bearing in mind that a strong dependence does not appear to random passers-by. However, it also happens that we find ourselves in some kind of psychological dependence even on our beloved heroes of novels or series.

How to identify such a relationship?

It is possible to determine the psychological dependence on another person not only by internal very obvious signs, but also by external changes, which are often subtle and still exist.

If internal dependence is manifested at the level of feelings (a feeling of emptiness or fear when a person is not nearby), then external dependence appears through copying the qualities of another person. It can be: a walk, style of clothing, certain gestures, repetition of crown phrases or copying of intonation of a voice, the appearance of bad habits (heroes of foreign films often smoke, drink and lead a “razdolbaisky” lifestyle) and much more.

Those qualities that a person copies from others, he himself does not develop. Thus, the dependent person has weaknesses in character. At the same time, the impossibility of communicating with a source of dependence does not guarantee that such a person will not find someone else with similar qualities who can be addicted to again. For those who want to live a free life, develop their weaknesses, the practice below will be very useful.

How to remove psychological dependence?

Psycho-energetic practice "Self-reliance"

1. Get up. Imagine the image of a person or character to whom you have an addiction.

2. Try to feel, see, feel the connection between you and this person. They can be presented in the form of cords, ropes, light beams, etc. To facilitate the implementation of the practice, you can hold your hand from top to bottom and try to feel at what level the hands have a sense of connection.

3. Then detail these connections: see or feel the density, color, appearance, so that they become more vivid.

4. Go through each connection and ask the question: “What quality or ability is this connection responsible for in this person?” There can be two options: positive or negative quality.

5. After that, imagine your image on the right one step away from you. And all the connections to that person, without exception - positive or negative, transfer to your image. May they appear between you and your image in the same places as with that person.

6. And now turn back to the image of the person with whom you are breaking ties. Thank him with all my heart for giving you the opportunity to see your weaknesses and allowing you to use his qualities. Next, imagine how your right hand becomes a blade, lift it up and on the exhale resolutely lower it, cutting off the connections between yourself and the image of a person (it is advisable to repeat this procedure three times). When the connections are cut off, feel how your hand will once again be the same, and see how the image of a person moves away from you and disappears.

7. Then turn right again to your image. Feel once again all the connections that were transferred from the image of that person to yours. Leave the positive qualities as they are, and transform the negative ones by asking the question: “What is positive in this quality?” (For example, the positive intention of the temper of temper can be the ability to quickly attract attention. It is important to consider not abstract quality, but in context of the behavior of an important person for you.) After the transformation, this connection may change, i.e. it will change light, shape or density.

8. Feel once again all the qualities that have been transferred from the image of that person to yours, feel or see the connection with them. Take a step forward and connect with your image, feeling how these connections appear in you with new qualities. Take a deep breath and exhale.

What is psychological addiction?

This kind of addiction takes many forms. Most often, when they talk about the psychology of addiction, they mean a love, romantic addiction. However, there can be many options for this destructive craving - an obsession with another person can be directed at a parent, friend, teacher, and even a screen star. These are rather special cases that require careful individual study with a psychologist.

The danger of love addiction lies not only in its destructive effect on relationships and the psyche of the dependent partner, but also in the fact that this condition is not considered by many people as a problem. In culture, there are many examples of heroic love in which one of the partners, being obsessed with feeling, performed incredible feats. Unfortunately, in life such a strong passion turns into only negative and destructive influence. Nevertheless, the desire to completely dissolve in a partner, to completely please him in a whim, to share absolutely everything, down to desires and aspirations (that is, dangerous signs of love addiction), many elevate to the infallible and desirable absolute model of partnership behavior.

Different schools of psychology present different reasons for the psychological love affection for a loved one. Some say that a similar pattern of behavior is established already in infancy, if the child can not get enough warmth and care from the mother.

Others tend to blame society and culture for psychological dependence. It was already mentioned above that the image of pathologically in love heroes is overly romanticized, which gives an unhealthy model for behavior. Another aspect of the influence of culture is the historically defined image of a woman who is obliged to love one single prince without memory and to please him in every possible way. That is why addiction in psychology is primarily a female problem.

A more definite reason for the emergence of psychological dependence in a particular person is considered to be problems with building their own boundaries. This means that a person vaguely imagines where it ends and where the competence of its influence begins. He cannot say with certainty which desires are his own, and which were imposed on mom, dad, spouse, boss, etc. He vaguely feels the possession of his own body, for example, he cannot refuse his beloved person intimate and physical contact, even when not wants him. Such a person is completely absorbed in the personality of his partner, because his own personality is in a ghostly uncertainty.

Another probable cause of addiction is the experienced loss of a loved one. If a person was deeply traumatized by the death or departure of a relative or friend, this can forever leave an imprint of fear of loss on him, because of which the person becomes sticky, overly obsequious and directs all his forces to maintain close contact with the object of passion.

Manifestations of dependence on a person and methods of its treatment

Psychology recognizes a person’s dependence on the following grounds:

  • the victim of painful attachment loses interest in everything except the object of his passion. Work, hobbies, rest fade into the background, the desire to always be with your lover and please him in everything comes to the fore
  • the dependent person voluntarily gives up his interests and desires. For him, there are only the desires of the beloved, but his own aspirations disappear and dissolve,
  • a victim of addiction will drive relationships into a “vicious circle." A constant desire to be near a loved one repels a partner, as a result of which the dependent person seeks to please and impose himself even more. All this is accompanied by a mutual deterioration of the mental state and the growth of negative experiences,
  • the dependent partner has neurotic symptoms bordering on psychoses: constant mood swings, desperate melancholy during periods outside communication with her lover (even if they do not last long), somatic manifestations (poor health, decreased immunity, interruptions in the heart), anxiety and problems with a dream
  • psychological dependence requires constant emotional support from a partner. A dependent person loses his identity so much that he becomes incapable of making his own decisions - even everyday tasks can lead him into a stupor.

Most often, these manifestations of an unhealthy relationship are seen by friends and relatives of the dependent person. However, the addict (dependent) reacts violently to their criticism and comments - he does not recognize problems in relations, denies his own inconvenience and soreness. As a result, relationships with everyone except her lover break off.

The paradox is that it is possible to treat addictive relationships only when the victim of these relationships herself understands that she feels bad, uncomfortable in them, and that this cannot go on. It is good if at this moment a close relative or friend will be next to her, who will gently bring her to this thought and send her for a consultation with a psychologist.

Without a psychologist, getting rid of pathological relationships is extremely difficult. First of all, for the reason already indicated - the victim does not understand his situation, and responds to the advice of friends and relatives with violent protest and conflict. In addition, the causes of addiction are different for everyone, and without a psychologist it is almost impossible to detect and work out.

The main work in how to get rid of psychological dependence on a person consists in raising the life value of the victim of dependence in her own eyes. It is necessary to teach a person to understand that he is an independent, mature person who can make decisions and be an integral being, even in isolation from his partner.

The main acquisition that should appear in the client after working with a psychologist is reasonable selfishness. A person should begin to love and respect himself, take care of himself and listen to his own feelings and desires, and not replace them with the desires of others. An optionally dependent relationship should end with a complete break (although in many cases this is the only option to keep the psyche of both partners). It is often necessary to involve addiction in therapy and an object, which qualitatively and profoundly change their unhealthy concept.

Stages of development of psychological dependence

Psychological dependence on any object - no matter whether it is alcohol, drugs or a beloved spouse - develops according to exactly the same laws. There are several stages of the formation of psychological dependence:

  1. No addiction. Normal, harmonious relations, where partners have equal rights, recognize themselves as mature individuals, represent value for each other and for themselves.
  2. Departure in a dependent relationship. A man resorts to manipulations, control, strives to always be with his lover, so as to drown out his own psychological conflicts. The first signs of personality degradation are manifested - low self-esteem, instability of the emotional background, difficulties in planning one's own life, concentration on relationships.
  3. Relationship problems. The victim of dependence narrows the circle of relatives and friends. Behavior becomes more thoughtless and compulsive, control and affection become total. Characterized by resentment, primitive children's logic, inflexible attitudes. A person denies the existence of a problem, but at the same time constantly feels guilty for those relations that have developed due to his behavior.
  4. Problems inside the relationship. A painful attachment ceases to satisfy and bring positive emotions, but the thought of leaving your partner is terrifying and frightening of the addict. He feels a merger with a partner almost on a physical level, while he begins to get tired of this behavior and avoid contacts. The victim of dependence becomes indifferent and apathetic to everything except his connection with a loved one.

Before talking about how to get rid of psychological dependence, it should be noted that in mentally healthy people the development of addictive relationships rarely goes beyond the second stage without a critical assessment of the situation. Often, as soon as a person encounters problems, he seeks to solve them, even through a painful break with the object of passion. In this situation, the psychologist only needs to wait for his client, who is already ready to work, and make the experience less painful (if it is already impossible to establish healthy relationships).

However, there is another situation related to such a phenomenon as borderline personality disorder. This is the competence of a psychiatrist. In some cases, psychotic symptoms are so strong that they require medical intervention, but psychologist can also conduct psychotherapy. The problem with the "border guards" is that it is impossible to achieve a cure (PRL - a disease included in ICD-10) - you can only go into a long, high-quality remission. People of this personality, prone to persecution and painful attachment, are practically unable to get rid of pathological passion, but can compensate for it by learning more adaptive forms of thinking and behavior.

Psychological dependence on humans: how to get rid

Earlier it was said that it is necessary to get rid of addiction together with a psychologist. However, in order to bring the addiction victim to the office for a consultation, one should (herself or with help from outside) ask a few questions:

  • what i want
  • what are my goals
  • what I like,
  • I need it or my partner.

If the opinion or mention of a partner appears in all matters, this is a serious reason to think about how to get rid of a love relationship with a man (or woman) using psychology of relationships.

Work with a psychologist is based on the principle of building the value of self. The psychologist’s task is to find an internal resource in a person, help him to believe in himself and love himself. Then you need to help the client build the boundaries of his personality. So that he can understand where he is, and where the other person, where his desires and needs, and where strangers. It is necessary to explain and distinguish between the concepts of dependence and partnership.

The therapy can be carried out by various methods - with or without a partner, with the help of hypnosis, body-oriented practices, gestalt therapy, cognitive therapy, etc. Adherence to a certain method depends on the preferences of the psychologist and on the case that he encounters when consulting a client.

In some cases, you can even provide assistance to a client remotely. One of the psychologists offering their services (including) through electronic means of communication is Nikita Valeryevich Baturin, a specialist hypnologist. There are videos on various topics on his YouTube channel. In the description field are all the contacts of a specialist for a full-time or correspondence appointment for a consultation.

How to get rid of love addiction - practical recommendations of psychologists

Relationship psychology sees several ways of getting rid of a love affair for a man. For this, a woman should be aware of several points:

  • Family is not the only purpose of a woman. The role of a spouse is not the limit and is not the only definition for a woman. A woman can be a terrific traveler, photographer, artist, hostess, all without a man. At least without someone from whom she feels an unhealthy dependence. To leave a painful relationship and enter into a new one (or to understand that living without a relationship is also quite comfortable) does not mean losing your human value.
  • Being alone is not scary. Being independent is not scary. Человек может справиться с чем угодно, а если у него это не получается в одиночку — есть дети, родственники, друзья, коллеги, и просто множество хороших и добрых людей, готовых помочь. Остаться без мужчины — это не смертный приговор. Нести ответственность за свои решения и поступки — это благо, а не крест.
  • «Я» должна быть первой буквой вашего алфавита. First of all, you are not a wife, not a sister, not a daughter, and not a girlfriend. First of all, you are you. A unique personality with its own set of qualities that no one else has, and will not be, except you. With your goals, interests and hobbies. You are of value in themselves, as a single person, and not just as a performer of a certain social role.
  • Having your own opinion, hobbies and social circle is not a betrayal. As Irwin Yalom wrote, “Mature love says:“ I can live without you, but I love you and I want to be around. ” Harmonious relations between two healthy people are at the intersection of their personalities, and do not try to absorb each other.

Each woman has her own way to how to get rid of psychological dependence on a man. The psychologist only helps to direct the client by choosing the exact scenario that suits him. You can come to the exit from the problem yourself, but often the path to harmony without the guidance of a professional mentor can be hampered by misunderstanding, despair and apathy.

Types of dependence and their signs

Emotional dependence is divided into species whose main difference is the object of dependence. They are united by a mechanism of influence. It is developed on the basis of interpersonal relationships. The result of emotional dependence, also called psychological, is self-destruction. This can subsequently lead to suicide or serious mental illness.

The most common and dangerous kind of addiction. Dangerous for its consequences.

Emotional dependence does not begin immediately. Initially, lovers spend all the time together. They gradually cease to communicate with friends, cannot imagine a loved one surrounded by someone else. As a result, lovers can no longer live without each other.

The thin line between falling in love and dependence is the presence of free space.

It is one thing when a partner meets friends from time to time, can freely travel and do personal affairs, into which he does not devote a soul mate. Another thing is when a person cannot do all this and must devote all his free time only to his beloved or beloved.

More emotional and dependent are women and girls. For them, any increase in distance in a relationship is perceived as follows:

  • he doesn't love me anymore
  • another appeared
  • he doesn't want to meet me
  • He left me.

In response to such behavior, the dependent person requires evidence. At first she will try to get through, write numerous SMS. The goal of the addict is to receive confirmation of love.

Women are more prone to love affection than men

One of the forms of love emotional dependence is the loss of one's own personality. A person is trying to maintain relations at the same level, sacrificing personal space. Refuses friends, previous hobbies, interests, goals. As a result, masochistic tendencies may develop.

Signs of addiction between a girl and a guy:

  • love is impossible without completely dissolving in each other,
  • lack of full commitment means lack of love,
  • it’s hard in a relationship, but without them it’s even worse
  • partner jealousy is the norm
  • relationships are accompanied by constant threats of severance,

The second form is the aggressive destruction of the psychological territory of the partner. They are realized through sadistic tendencies. The dependent person begins to psychologically put pressure on the partner. His goal is to make a sacrifice out of sacrifice that cannot exist without a soulmate.

Dependence exists in conjunction with fears. Addictive begin to disturb anxious and obsessive thoughts. He cannot normally and adequately perceive the world around him without a loved one and does not recognize his mental disorder.

Dependence on men appears in families where the wife is a housewife. She does not know how to solve problems on her own, follows her husband’s instructions, her goal is to save the family at all costs.

Having gone on vacation, a man misses a close friend. There is no one to share emotions with, chat and hug at a meeting.

The main difference between this type of dependence on normal friendly relations in freedom. When people are just friends, they can spend time with other people, feel joy if a person has made a new friend. Dependent on his friend feels uncomfortable among other people. Together they are fun, interesting and good.

  • jealousy of a friend to his acquaintances,
  • comments are full of emotions and are not always controlled,
  • dependent friends spend all their free time together, sometimes they have a common house,
  • strong feelings with a long absence of close, etc.

Friendly dependence, like any other, leads to slavery. In this case, a healthy relationship cannot be built. Subsequently, both friends will experience longing, despondency, stress, hysteria. The worst consequence: losing your mind from excessive control and the inability to have personal space.

Friendly attachment can develop into pathology

Parent

Parents strongly press on the child with their hyper-care. They control every step, do not give the right to make a mistake. This applies to children of different ages: from infancy to adulthood. Every year, parental care becomes more active.

This type of relationship is normal when the child is small. He needs a mother, she is his support and protection. Over time, he may become dependent on maternal care.

Manifestation of parental dependence - unwillingness to release the child from the parental home.

The consequences of maternal dependence for the child:

  • can't make decisions on her own,
  • can't stand up for herself
  • unable to solve problems himself, calls for mom for any reason,
  • feeling danger, falls into a strong panic, etc.

Particularly dangerous addiction for boys. Constantly surrounded by the mother, in the future they do not know how to behave correctly. It is difficult for them to build relationships with representatives of both sexes.

The main negative consequence for the mother is the loss of her own personality. She gets used to the fact that her husband is the main earner, and her duties are related to maintaining cleanliness in the house and raising a child.

How to get rid

It is not difficult to overcome the addiction. The patient does not always recognize the presence of a mental disorder.

Observing your wrong can help observing the relationships of other people. Another way is to analyze the situation and understand what is wrong with it. Starting to search for information, a person will come to the conclusion that he has a dependence on a person.

To get rid of this problem, the patient needs to think about the following:

  • what i want
  • what are my interests
  • what are my goals
  • what I want to achieve
  • I or my partner want it
  • I need it or a partner, etc.

The main trick is focusing on one's “I”. Dependent and close - these are 2 different concepts from the point of view of psychology.

It is important to draw a clear line between the personal and the general. You need to learn to understand your desires and feelings, and not constantly follow the expectations of a partner.

  1. Switch to the spiritual. The source of love can be not only appearance, but also spirituality. Switch from a partner to things that attract with their content, inspire, charge with internal energy. This is called spiritual enrichment. And it’s nice and useful for anyone, and even more so for those who lose their personality.
  2. Explore your partner. Each person is unique, especially in matters of love. You need to understand that one can talk about his feelings around the clock, and another just say the words of love once a day. To get depressed because the beloved or beloved does not act as we would like, stupid.
  3. Imagine what will happen if the partner does not become. The reasons you can come up with are different. Remember the periods when a significant person was not in life. What they did, which brought pleasure. Try to resume this activity.

It is very effective to remove addiction with the help of a temporary breakup. Leave to travel in the company of other people, to minimize communication. You need to understand that life without addiction is much better. Those who live with a dependent person should outline the boundaries of their personal space. Remove all grievances and discuss the problem. You need to explain to your partner that addiction is not normal and you need to get rid of it.

You need to learn how to pull yourself together and solve problems. The easiest way is to engage in personal growth and self-development.

Conclusion

Psychological dependence is often found in the modern world. Having found a soul mate, I do not want to let her go. I want to spend all the time together, to be constantly only in each other's company. You need to be able to separate personal space.

The first sign of addiction is a lack of understanding of life without a loved one. Such a mental disorder must be eliminated immediately after detection. The easiest way - a temporary separation and the search for personal interests. This will help not only get rid of addiction, but also reveal new facets, raise the level of self-development.

Find out your type of addiction

Here are two of the most common types of dependency:

  1. Dependence as a desire to dissolve in a partner, a renunciation of one's own responsibility and determination. The main idea: "Without me, you are not." Feeling yourself as part of another, feeling that the partner is much better, stronger, more interesting than you. People of this type are prone to masochism.
  2. Dependence as a desire to absorb a partner, dominate him, control him. The main idea: "You are just a part of me." The desire to dominate the partner, absorb his personality. People of this type are prone to sadism.

All types of dependencies have approximately the same causes. And the ways to get out of this state in a healthy relationship are also about the same for all types of addiction.

The causes of addiction

One of the most common reasons for the manifestation of dependence in relationships is children's dislike. It is generally accepted that a child should love his parents. But it often happens that mom or dad punishes, insults the child or notices him only when, in their opinion, he deserves attention.

A mother can, for example, send conflicting signals to a child: “I punish you because I love you” or “I criticize and humiliate you, but only to make you better, because I love you.” The instinct of the child is to run to the mother in any situation. She is the most expensive and most valuable thing he has. She alone will always protect and help. But if at the same time she insults, humiliates or even hits the child, then he has a distorted idea of ​​love. Love in his view will be associated with danger, fear, anxiety, negative emotions and feelings.

Such a child learns to beg the crumbs of love from his mother (or father), and in his head love looks exactly like that - she is always small, and she goes side by side with suffering. The child is accustomed to the scenario: “I will suffer a little, torment myself, and then my mother will show her love for me. Mom will punish me, insult, beat, reject, but then I will receive a long-awaited hug. "

And the child, not seeing in front of his eyes another model of love, besides this one, begins to think that this is love. And so the tendency to addiction is born. A child with such a mother will transfer the love given to him in childhood to loving relationships in adulthood. Perhaps he will take on the role of the mother (which is described here), or maybe he will remain in the role of the child, begging for the pathetic particles of love from the partner.

Differences in dependence on love

Love is a huge resource, thanks to which we grow and develop, experience joy and happiness, achieve great heights. Addiction is a union in which you cook like a frog in a pan, in which the water slowly heats up. At first you will be warm and pleasant, but over time you will feel unwell. After some more time, you, without even thinking to jump out, cook. And all because you were cooked slowly, unobtrusively and imperceptibly.

Dependent relationships differ from love in that you suffer and suffer in them, like that frog in a hot pan. The level of your happiness in a relationship is the main indicator of whether your relationship is love or dependent. If you feel like a happy person in a relationship, then most likely this is love. And if you suffer most of the time in a relationship, then most likely you have a love affair.

Step # 1: Realize

The first thing you need to do to get out of addiction is to recognize and accept that you have it. You must tell your brain firmly and confidently that you have an addiction, and today you decided to start getting rid of it. This step is no less important than the rest, because your brain from early childhood used to think that it is love, not addiction. Tell your subconscious that it was wrong for a long time. But now you know the whole truth and are ready for change.

Step # 2: make a decision

The next step is the decision to leave the toxic relationship you are currently in, or the decision to change yourself while continuing to remain in this union. If you decide to change without leaving the relationship, the partner will either reach out to you and change too (if you really care for him), or fall off like a bark from an old tree. Dependent relationships in a pair are always supported by both partners.

It can be a union, for example, a tyrant-victim or a narcissus-victim. In such a pair, both people play a role that helps maintain a relationship. And if one of the partners suddenly begins to leave the role of the addict, then the second will be out of work. He will either have to change for the sake of a healthy relationship, or leave this union. Therefore, the second step that you need to take in order to get out of dependent relationships is to leave your partner, or accept that if he is left out of work, he will most likely leave himself.

Step # 3: Stop Enduring

Dependent people who seek to dissolve in a partner, become a part of it, tend to be “patience”. When they don’t like something, they prefer not to express their displeasure aloud and keep silent in a rag. In order to unlearn this habit, practice and constant training are important. You need to train to say no, to defend your borders, not to tolerate what you do not like, and if possible not to do what you do not want.

If you want to learn this as soon as possible, begin to run into situations in which you will need to defend your point of view and say no. For example, when you are shopping for groceries in a supermarket, put in a basket something that you do not need. And when the cashier will beat the goods, say that you changed your mind. You don’t feel like buying it.

The first few times will be quite difficult, but confidence will come with a certain number of repetitions. For the first time, you may not even decide on this act, and you will have to buy unnecessary goods. But for the fifth or sixth time, you will feel how you finally find your own boundaries. It’s getting easier and easier for you to defend your point of view.

Train on casual passers-by, sales consultants, promoters with leaflets, friends, acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, and, of course, your partner. Do not be afraid to offend anyone. Confident people do this all the time, so why are you worse? I have another article on this subject - victim syndrome in relationships. If you don’t know how to defend your borders and say no, then be sure to read it.

Step # 4: Fill the Void

Being in a dependent relationship, you are turned to face the partner and your back to yourself. Your personal life is now far from the first place for you, more importantly - the life of your chosen one. So turn 180 degrees and look at your own life. Addiction is when a partner gives you something that you don’t give yourself. It’s like a void in your soul, and your partner fills this void with his presence. This emptiness is self-dislike. Start today to fill this hole with love. Take a sheet of paper and a pen and write a list of what your chosen one gives you. Maybe joy? Feeling of need? Or, for example, care? Gives you a thrill in your soul?

Try to write a long list, and then look at each item and think about when you last gave it to yourself. Yesterday? Or maybe never? From today, begin to give yourself everything that you did not give before. Remember: respect, love, interest, care are mutual feelings. Respect only those who respect themselves. Take care of those who take care of themselves. They show genuine interest in those who are interested in themselves. Love only those who love themselves. Healthy relationships are built on the feelings that each of the partners already knows how to give to himself. Begin to respect, love yourself, take care of yourself and show interest in yourself.

From now on, do with yourself everything that previously could only be obtained from a partner. This will help you articles on increasing confidence and self-love. I also wrote for you the book “How to Love Yourself”, which can be purchased at the symbolic price of 99 rubles from this link. В ней я собрала самые эффективные и работающие техники, при помощи которых я сама когда-то научилась любить себя, подняла свою самооценку и повысила уверенность в себе. Эта книга поможет вам избавиться от зависимости и стать свободным, цельным и счастливым человеком.

Шаг #5: Узнайте себя

Начните узнавать себя заново. Для этого напишите список из ста вещей, которые приносят вам радость, и список из ста «хочу». Что дарит вам радость и удовольствие? Чего вам хочется?

Write these two lists (be sure to go up to a hundred points each!). You may not be able to do this at a time. But do not try to abandon this business! Once you have several items from each list ready, start including them daily in your daily plan. At least one of each. Learn to fulfill your desires and give yourself joy. So you will soon be free from dependence and become a full-fledged personality.

Step # 6: Become an Independent

The main problem of addiction is that it is poorly recognized by the person himself, and therefore it is so difficult to deal with on his own, and in this situation the help of a specialist is required.

I am a psychologist, and I conduct individual consultations on Skype. Together with you at the consultation we will be able to determine what exactly in your life caused the formation of your addictive behavior. Until these processes are realized, they seem to control you, and there is nothing you can do about it. But when you learn to understand and understand them, they will become controlled by you, and then you will have a choice of what to do with it. Awareness of the causes of addictive behavior will allow you to manage and free yourself from it. And it is almost impossible to fully realize these reasons on their own.

On this page you can find more information about me to get to know me better.

You can sign up for a consultation through VKontakte, Instagram or a form on the site. You can get acquainted with the cost of services and the scheme of work here. You can read or leave feedback about me and my work here.

On one side of the scales lies fear - on the other always lies freedom!

Step # 7: Start Building Harmonious Relationships

In order to get rid of toxic relationships, you can get out of them and learn to love yourself and give yourself that love that you always lacked. But how to verify that you have already got rid of the dependent position one hundred percent? If you have not left your partner and made changes over yourself while remaining in a relationship, then your feelings should be reversed. There should no longer be room for suffering in a relationship. Being with a partner, you should feel easy and free. Happily, joyfully and calmly.

In the event that you have left the relationship in which you suffered and were addicted, then to check how much you have changed, start building new relationships. To do this, I suggest you read articles on dating "How to fall in love with myself" and "Why I don’t have a couple", as well as articles on how to build a healthy and happy relationship: "Male psychology", "Psychology of relationships", "How to return passion ”and many others from the article in the“ Relationships ”section. Relations in the modern world are needed in order to share happiness and joy. A person can share happiness when he knows how to generate it, how to make himself happy.

Mature and conscious people are looking for those who themselves can be happy. They are more willing to enter into relationships with those who are self-sufficient. A psychologically mature person unconsciously thinks of a potential partner: “If she is happy, then she can make me happy too. If she is joyful, then she knows how to generate this joy, and she can teach me that as well. ”

People have so many problems. Conscious people, unlike addicts, enter into relationships to become happier. Therefore, after you go through all the proposed steps and enter into a new relationship, you will attract the same mature person, because the one who likes to suffer has nothing to do with the one who knows how to generate happiness.

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